当你听到的时候要采取五个行动,“我不相信你”

作者:奥黛丽·爱泼斯坦

Last Updated: Jun 23,2018
Do your colleagues and employees think you're trustworthy?And if they don't,how do you go about building trust?你可以做五件事。

建立信任
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Talking about trust is tough in business.When a colleague tells you,"I don't trust you" your first instinct is probably to react defensively or aggressively,and rarely with curiosity and an openness to understand.You take "I don't trust you" as an attack on your character and an afront to your integrity.但是信任是坚强的基础,富有成效的关系,团队,and organizations so it's imperative that if you are told you are untrustworthy you need to change that fast.

In my research assessing hundreds of teams,我发现高绩效和低绩效团队之间70%的差异集中在团队成员关系的质量上。Additionally,顶级团队成功建立和维护信任的可能性是他们效率较低的同类团队的50倍。It's nearly impossible to achieve common goals,谈论最艰难的挑战,或者在整个组织内进行协作,而不需要高度信任。

The challenge is everyone sees and measures trust differently.人们根据自己的喜好和生活经历来定义信任和信任。In my mind someone is trustworthy if they are authentic and real and interested in me and my ideas.Trust is about connecting,不是两面派,not playing politics.

底线,are you seen as trustworthy?你如何谈论信任而不让每个人都变得不正常呢?以下是一些想法:

1。“这完全取决于我们如何看待事物,而不是他们自己。”– Carl Jung.人们对于判断一个人是否值得信赖有着不同的标准。对一些人来说,一切都是为了履行承诺。你按你说的做了吗?Are you accountable for your results?For others,it's about authenticity,vulnerability,和连接。Did you show that you cared about them?Were you open and honest about who you are?Did you disclose something more personal about yourself that demonstrated trust?And yet for others,it's about loyalty and candor.Did you stand up for me when I wasn't around?Did you gossip about me or tell me to my face?

If you want to be seen as trustworthy by a variety of people who may all define trust differently,you have some work to do.You need to understand what trustworthy means to the important people in your life and to your key stakeholders at work.了解他们的期望。Make the effort to meet their needs.您可能想问他们以下问题:

  • What lets you know you could trust me?
  • 获得信任的最好方法是什么?
  • 人们怎么会失去你的信任?
  • How would you define the level of trust between us?

2.“了解你是否可以信任某人的最好方法是信任他们。”——欧内斯特·海明威。As much as you want to be seen as trustworthy,how hard do you make people work before they earn your trust?Some of us grant everyone trust right away,as soon as we meet them.We assume they deserve our trust until they break it.我们中的一些人在获得信任之前不会信任任何人。But once they have,他们对我们有无限的信任。Think about how you extend trust to others and ensure you aren't making it so difficult for others to earn your trust that you are preventing relationships from forming or progressing.不要“秘密测试”人。让他们知道你的期望,并帮助他们快速建立与你的信任。在商业中,we often don't have the years we might enjoy in personal relationships to slowly build up trust.We have to form the team quickly.我们有3个月的时间来完成这个项目。Others sense it when you are distrustful.By withholding trust,you may actually be creating a more difficult road for yourself to get things done at work.Don't make others distrust you by being distrustful.

If you find it difficult to extend trust to someone you work closely with,ask yourself the following questions to see if they can help you grant trust:

  • Has this person ever given me cause NOT to trust them?
  • If they have,我有没有跟他们谈过我的顾虑?
  • Am I assuming positive intent?我知道整个故事吗?
  • Have I clearly expressed my expectations so there are no "secret tests"?

三。"Never ruin an apology with an excuse."—本杰明·富兰克林。If you break trust,own it immediately.Apologize fully.Most of the time,we do not break trust with intent.We are not intending to break a commitment,share a confidence,take credit for someone else's accomplishment.But stuff happens.当你相信你可能对别人产生了不信任,confess quickly.为影响道歉。询问如何重建信任。

4."The weak can never forgive.Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong."——圣雄甘地。Practice forgiveness.Don't hold others to impossible,完美的标准,你不想被坚持。记住,他们的错误可能与你犯的错误不同,但我们都是违法的。与他人明确你的需求和期望。Create candor in your relationships.如果你相信别人已经破坏了信任,就告诉他们。允许他们解决问题并接受他们的道歉。坚持住那个错误会让你很沮丧。Being able to forgive is often more for you than the person you are forgiving and can help continue to build trust between you and your colleagues.

5."Feedback is the breakfast of champions."– Ken Blanchard.如果有人说他们不信任你,don't freak out.不要把这件事看得太私人化,因为你义愤填膺的愤怒会让你无法发现这一挑战的核心是什么。Remember,trust is a big word with many meanings.Dig in and find out what happened.

关系显然是强队的基础,and in most organizations,团队合作。如果你不给予他人信任,不表现出你是一个值得信赖的人,你就不能建立关系。Don't shy away from talking about trust at work.Consciously work to build and rebuild trust with others.从你自己开始,by being trustworthy and by extending trust,你很可能会为你的团队做出你将做出的最大贡献。

奥黛丽·爱泼斯坦是三检组的合伙人,也是琳达·亚当斯的合著者。Abby Curnow Chavez和Rebecca Teasdale ofThe Loyalist Team: How Trust,Candor,真实性造就了伟大的组织.For more information,或者进行免费的团队快照评估,please visit,www.trispectivegroup.com.

vwin滚球Business Know-How/Attard Communications,Inc.is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program,一种附属广告计划,旨在通过广告和链接到amazon.com为网站提供一种赚取广告费的手段。

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